


i say love, it is a flower

by LuciferCaelestis



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Hanahaki Disease, M/M, Oblivious Keith (Voltron), Pining Shiro (Voltron), Sheith Spring Flower Exchange
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-09
Updated: 2017-05-09
Packaged: 2018-10-30 01:04:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,939
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10865820
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LuciferCaelestis/pseuds/LuciferCaelestis
Summary: Nothing like coughing up flowers to find out you’re in love and your feelings aren’t reciprocated, Shiro thinks grimly.In which Shiro pines, flowers reveal your feelings (and could possibly kill you) and Keith is oblivious to it all.





	i say love, it is a flower

**Author's Note:**

> My gift to Anon 1 for the sheith flower exchange on twitter. Sorry for being so late, it got kinda out of hand. Hope you enjoy this!
> 
> Beta'd by my friend shardsofmi. Thanks for all your help, I couldn't have done this without you.

It all begins one afternoon after Shiro says goodbye to Keith after a particularly intense sparring session. Though they were relatively equal on the sparring mats, this time the victory had not fallen to Shiro and so he responds to Keith’s cheerful taunts with promises to repay the favor next time.

Every moment he spends with Keith is an indulgence. He knows this by the fact that he cannot stop smiling, even if he wanted to. At the moment, all is right in the world.

He’s standing inside his room, undressing so he can take a shower when suddenly he’s gasping for air, it feels like a rock is lodged in his throat. He drops to his knees and coughs long and hard trying to get whatever is stuck in there _out_.

Moments pass as his coughing becomes progressively louder and more painful. One of his hands is covering his mouth as he pants in between coughs while the other supports him on the floor.

Finally, a large clump of blue and red falls into his hand and he unravels it with shaking hands. They’re flowers, he realizes, flowers stained by his blood. Sitting up straight, he just stares at them for a while, unable to think any further.

Why on Earth would he be coughing up flowers? He brings them closer to his face, trying to guess what kind of flowers they are and what they were doing inside his throat. After a few minutes of scrutiny, he makes a tentative guess that they’re forget-me-nots. He can vaguely remember seeing them once on vacation with his family when he was younger but he doesn’t think he’s ever seen them since. 

Why would he even be coughing up forget-me-nots anyway? Was this a sickness he’d never heard of infecting him?

Suddenly his thoughts are interrupted when he starts coughing again and it’s even more painful this time, more flowers littering his floor accompanied by flecks of blood. Luckily he hasn’t had to share a room since his first year so he’s saved from being questioned by a concerned roommate.

He tries to catch his breath, even more concerned and frightened about what’s happening to him. He stares at the posters on his walls, mindless observation to soothe his nerves.

Once he’s reasonably sure he’s not going to start coughing up flowers again, he cleans up the mess, still feeling slightly panicked by everything. He takes a shower, letting the patter of water against his body clear his mind of any thoughts.

As he’s towelling his hair dry, a memory sparks inside his mind. His grandmother told him countless stories as he sat on her lap, begging for _just one more story, don't go yet, I want to hear more._ Usually, his grandmother would regale him with stories like ones of star-crossed lovers or humans-turned-animals, repeating some when she finished. 

There is one story though, he remembers, that she only ever told him once. It was about a man who loved his king more than anything, but was not loved in return. He coughed flowers that grew from his lungs, a product of the love he could not contain. The flowers grew more and more in quantity, until he could no longer hide them and the pain they caused him, but he refused any attempt to remove them. 

There’s more to it, he knows, but he just can’t seem to remember.

He used to think it was a myth but now... In his time of need, he turns to searching for anything that could help online. All that comes up are anecdotes from people who had suffered from the same ailment and were duly mocked by superstitious idiots. He can’t find anything that proves his grandmother’s story but there’s nothing there that _disproves_ it either. He knows there were more details to what she told him but he just can’t recall anything at the moment and it’s been long time since she died so he can’t exactly ask her to clarify.

Giving up on his search for his mysterious ailment for now, he decides to look up more about forget-me-nots instead. He’s fully aware that if his grandmother’s story is true, then it means that he’s in love with someone… 

_And that apparently those feelings are not returned._

_Nothing like coughing up flowers to find out you’re in love and your feelings aren’t reciprocated_ , Shiro thinks grimly. He would think it’s a joke if someone had told him about it just a few days ago, but it’s not, and it really is happening to him. He knows how this goes, how there’s every chance this is going to end unhappily for him. 

_Forget-me-nots_ , he reads, _are flowers with five petals and sepals, commonly blue, pink, white or yellow with yellow centres. They are commonly found in…_

When he feels like he’s done, he knows a whole lot more about forget-me-nots than he did before, but nothing that could help him with his problem. 

About to close the page, he notices a link about the significance of forget-me-nots and its history. Curiosity aroused, he clicks on the link cautiously. The first thing it means, he learns, is _true love_. He blushes all the way up to his ears at the implication. The second is, true to it’s name, _forget me not_ , signifying remembrance even after you’ve parted, and that is when his heart starts racing.

He doesn’t even bother denying who it is he has feelings for, he knows himself too well for that. It’s Keith of course, who else would he be coughing up flowers for? 

This wasn’t a new thing either. From their first meeting, there had been an immediate spark of attraction. Since then it’s evolved into the awe he feels whenever he watches Keith fly, and the fondness that takes over when Keith decides to trust him after they were assigned to each other. He’s not sure when it crossed over into _love_ , but he feels like he should have seen it coming somehow. Maybe it would have felt less painful that way.

And the meanings themselves, do they imply anything? His relationship with Keith is anything but typical, forced together by the higher-ups as they were. He knows even the other cadets have no idea how their friendship started in the first place. 

Keith himself was confused at first about why Shiro was so persistent in pursuing a friendship with him beyond the limits of their truce at the time. In the early stages of their partnership, they’d gotten nothing done together, putting on frosty silences and snapping at each other whenever something went wrong. After a month, their grades started to suffer and he offered Keith a truce, allowing them to talk and study together without acting like they did before. That’s when he caught glimpses of what Keith really was like, hints of his kindness and strength that he never would have seen otherwise. 

Shiro wanted to laugh at his previous assumptions. At the most Shiro had expected to get a potential successor or rival, and at the worst he would have wasted his time for a few months before the higher-ups reassigned him. Keith had blown all those assumptions out of the water. He’d gotten a friend instead, someone who understood him and believed in him without putting him on a pedestal or holding him up to a ridiculous standard. 

He closes the tab, feeling guilty for having let his thoughts wander so far. This was the first time he’d ever seen his feelings for Keith as anything other than friendly or even brotherly. But it feels good. More than that, it feels right. 

It feels like he and Keith were always destined to meet, no matter how or when it happened.

He lies down on his bed. Normally he would either be talking to Keith or studying, but he’s giving himself a pass tonight to just… think about what’s happened. He can spy the cheap glow-in-the-dark stars Keith got for him weeks ago. When Shiro thanked him that day, Keith had brushed it off, saying the stars reminded him of Shiro. They spent the rest of the evening placing the stars all over the walls and ceiling as accurately as they could. _‘So you can be with the stars as much as you want’_ , Keith said.

He drifts off like that, floating through happy memories.

Just before he falls asleep though, he remembers the last part of his grandmother’s story.  
In the end, the man had followed his king into death, loyal to his grave and choked by the flowers of his love. The flowers that grew were roses, showing how his love was true and deep, and they were as red as the blood that stained his mouth after he died.

_The flowers will wilt as your love fades, or grow as your love grows, but if your love is still unreturned, they will choke the very life from you._

*****

 

When the day of the Kerberos mission finally arrives, he’s just about ready to jump out of his skin in sheer nervousness. He doesn't usually doubt his skills, he's put in countless hours at the simulators and flown through so many situations he could do it in his sleep in preparation for this very moment, but this is the first time it ever felt real. He’s gone on several off-planet missions before, of course he has, but this is an entirely different ballpark. For one, it's the farthest humanity has ever gone and could very well be the next step towards exploring the rest of the galaxy, and he was the one chosen to lead the way. Kerberos, he feels, will change the rest of his life.

Having said his goodbyes to everyone but the one he cared about most, he walks through the Garrison corridors for the last time, intent on finding Keith to exchange a private set of goodbyes. He gives a friendly smile to the cadets who are staring at him and accepts their last-minute congratulations with a casual grace but a part of him is screaming to get it over with, wanting nothing more than to see Keith and his smile.

He checks Keith’s room. He checks the mess hall. He even goes up to the simulators, but he comes up empty-handed each time. Finally, he turns to his last resort, the roof. The sight of Keith relieves him. Grinning, he shakes his head, muttering that he should have known he would find Keith there. Keith is leaning against the railing, watching the goings-on in the front courtyard with a fixed intensity.

“Hey,” he says, a forced casual tone to his voice that he hopes disguises the frantic beat of his heart.

“Hey,” Keith replies flatly.

“So this is it,” he says steadily, confused at the lukewarm reception. “I'm really leaving for Kerberos, this is really happening.”

Keith shrugs in response.

Determined, he pushes on, wondering what has set him back to the early days of their acquaintanceship when Keith barely wanted anything to do with him. “I'm gonna miss this place. Well not really, maybe the food? Like even garrison food has to be better than space rations right?”  
The awkward silence that follows prickles at his skin. His heart falls; it's never been like this with Keith, he's always known exactly how Keith feels about things.

“Shouldn’t you be leaving right about now?” It sounds like an order, not a question.

There’s nothing in Keith’s expression or posture that hints at what he’s feeling; it’s just...blank. “Yeah, but I wanted to see you first. I mean, you're my best friend, I thought you were happy about me going to Kerberos…” he trails off, feeling like his heart has just deflated.

Finally, Keith turns to look at him. His mouth is flat but his eyes are sad. “Fuck, Shiro, you know I’m proud as hell for you. I just-”. 

He pauses, fists clenched, trying to find a way to say whatever it is that has him so conflicted. Shiro can't help but notice that he didn't say _happy_ , but he's not sure if he wants to pry. 

His face softens when he looks at Shiro, but his eyes with all their terrifying intensity are focused on him as he reaches out. He falters halfway and drops his hand back to his side, sighing heavily.

Shiro takes it as a sign to come closer, studying Keith’s face for any clues on how to proceed. He tries to commit Keith’s face to memory, the curves of his face, the colour of his eyes, how his hair is just a tad too long to be regulation. He’s going to miss seeing Keith every day.

“I’ll miss you,” Keith’s quiet admission interrupts his thoughts. His voice is heavy and sad in a way he’s never heard before.

Shiro wants to smack himself for not realizing it sooner. He’s spent so long thinking about how much he’ll miss Keith when he’s gone that he hadn’t ever considered if Keith would miss him too. Knowing what he does about Keith, piecing together all the little bits about himself that Keith’s told him about, it shouldn’t surprise him how Keith reacted. It makes sense, all those unexplainable moments where he sensed Keith staring at him but saying nothing; the sort of distance that formed between them after he broke the news, even if he could tell that Keith was just as proud as he was in his own way; even Keith’s reluctance to say goodbye and hiding in his preferred comfort zone. Keith is preparing to be alone again, and that _hurts_ , that Keith would ever think that Shiro would leave and not come back.

“I’ll miss you too,” he hears himself replying solemnly. He manages to resist the impulse to hug Keith, knowing Keith’s skittishness and resistance to being touched in general. 

Keith surprises him by being the one to hug _him_ , moving closer when Shiro doesn’t, grabbing hold of his hand and wrapping his remaining arm around Shiro’s shoulder, head nestling into the crook of Shiro’s neck. The parts of Keith that are pressed against him feel warm and solid, and the weight of Keith’s body anchors him straight down to Earth. Keith's head is close enough to his face that he can get a good whiff of Keith’s scent without even leaning down. In a moment of weakness, he almost, _almost_ presses his lips to Keith's hair but finds just enough self-control to stop himself. He finds himself thinking that they fit together perfectly and wishes that everything would stop, just for a little while, so he can stay in this bubble of happiness for a few minutes longer.

“I should be going with you,” Keith mumbles into his shoulder. “I’m your partner, your co-pilot.” He has to strain himself to hear what Keith is saying but it warms his heart all the same.

“The brass decided one pilot was enough this time. But next time? I wouldn’t want anyone else with me.”

“Next time.” 

When Keith moves back, he has to swallow his protests at losing the warmth but his heart is full to bursting because Keith does care about him and he even got a hug, a hug, from Keith. He’s so happy he could fly to Kerberos all by himself, no need for a ship.

“Promise me you’ll come back,” Keith demands.

“I promise.”

 

As he settles into his seat, checking over controls and buckling himself down, he feels his doubts fade away into nothing. A fleeting thought crosses his mind, of the light in Keith’s eyes as he flies through simulations and records alike, the fierce joy in his face when he learns something new, and the sheer abandon that takes over when he flies for real. He hopes that someday, he’ll get to share this with Keith too.

A vision takes shape then, stretching out before him. Him in the pilot’s seat, Keith right next to him as his co-pilot, watching his back the way he can’t quite see anyone else doing anymore, the two of them exploring space together like they’ve always dreamed of.

A dream that begins with _“Co-pilot,”_ and the endless expanse of space to be explored before them. He likes the sound of that.

*****

 

In the Arena, he has nothing. He fights, he wins, and he comes back to his cell long enough to cough up blood and flowers and nurse his various injuries, and the cycle repeats. Sometimes he’s lucky, and his injuries are easy enough to ignore. Sometimes though, he’s not as lucky. On those days, blood covers the floor and when the flowers come, he can no longer see them because they’ve blended together in a macabre display of art.

The flowers are painful and they come in bunches, suffocating him like the love that grips his heart. He thinks they’ve been increasing. It was never this difficult to breathe before, but maybe, he thinks deliriously, he can’t tell anymore because it never used to hurt like this.

 _Why is this happening?_ Maybe the stronger his feelings are, the more they grow? But he can’t even try to resent his feelings, they’re an anchor to something outside this prison he can’t escape and if he uses his feelings to cope with his imprisonment the only way he can? Well, he has little else to hold on to.

Occasionally, he hallucinates. He relieves memories long past, sometimes with his family or with Keith, but it always hurts to come back to the cell he’s confined in. Other times though, they’re more insidious, more dangerous. He thinks that Keith is there to rescue him, because _he knows Keith is coming for him, he knows it for sure_ , but then he wakes up.

Hope is always the first to die.

 

When Haggar comes for him, all he can think is that he should have known. Back when he was still an unnamed slave fighting for the Empire like countless others, he was forgettable. Left alone when he was done fighting for the day. But now he’s a champion, he’s the Champion, and Haggar has taken an interest in him.

At first, the only interest she has in him is purely regarding his repeated victories as a gladiator. He’s alien to them, but he remains undefeated in the arena, a true champion. He gets the feeling that he was never meant to survive that long, and the fact that he has now makes him research material.

His indomitable will to survive and do anything to stay that way probably doesn’t help abate her interest either.

The medical procedures begin immediately no matter how much he struggles. They take samples of his skin, and blood, and other bodily fluids. The tests themselves are mildly uncomfortable at first but it’s not long before he’s terrified at the sound of steps outside his cell, waiting to bring him back to his torment. He protests and screams, to no avail. He can’t recall much from that time, not even being able to mark down the days that pass when he’s thrown back into his cell.

His hallucinations come frequently then, a comfort that hurts just as much as he craves it.

When Haggar discovers the flowers in his lungs, an anomaly she found quite interesting, he’s gripped by panic, enough to tell her about them and beg. Her eyes lit up with a certain sadistic curiosity as he describes it, likely thinking about what would make the mighty Champion, stubbornly stoic as he is, beg from his captors?

He’s sent back to his cell with a malicious smile and some cryptic words from Haggar as his only goodbye.

The next day, he learns why she was so eager.

He’s strapped to the surgical table after quite a struggle, and moments later he’s greeted by the sight of Haggar and her druids. She doesn’t bother with any niceties, only gleefully explaining what she’s doing to him. She seems to relish in the fear that dawns in his eyes as he begins to understand what she’s going to do. 

“Our champion,” she exclaims mockingly, “has no room for love of any sort. Only devotion to the Empire, to Zarkon. Don’t worry, champion… this won’t hurt at all.”

All he can think is _I’m sorry Keith, I love you-_ before the darkness consumes him and he fades into oblivion.

  

 

He stumbles into wakefulness, feeling just a little emptier and a great deal lighter somehow. He doesn’t really know why for a few moments but then the memories start trickling in. 

It’s easy to conclude that Haggar probably removed the flowers from his lungs, but was that even possible? What about his feelings for Keith? He reaches for his feelings, his love, but it just feels overwhelmingly empty. He still trusts and respects Keith but…

There’s nothing there anymore.

He’s wracking his mind for this, any hint of feelings that he may have missed because he cares about this, that Haggar didn’t just take something precious from him and he can’t even miss it because it’s _gone._

He still has all the memories of Keith and him together but he has no idea why he was in love with Keith, even after desperately examining them over and over again.

His heart breaks, for Keith, for himself, for his younger self who lost something infinitely precious and he shatters. For the first time since getting into this situation, _finally_ he allows himself to cry.

*****

 

He feels the hurtling of the Black Lion across the atmosphere of whatever planet they’re about to crash into keenly, flashes of pain getting more intense by the second. For a second, he doesn’t even feel the impact of the crash but then it hits him all at one.

He clambers out of his lion carefully, hoping to find Keith or anybody really. He tries their comm channel multiple times, only getting static when he asks for Keith. He doesn’t let this panic him and moves towards higher ground slowly, maybe it would give him better reception. 

Walking with a hand pressed to the wound on his stomach, he hears snippets of dialogue from Keith’s end in between the static and he can barely contain the sudden pain that hits as he tries to assure Keith of his presence. 

He stumbles over to a wall of rock and leans against it, relieved that Keith is alive and that if he had to be stuck with anyone, at least it was Keith. He hastens to reassure Keith that he’s fine, even if he really, _really_ isn’t.

He tries for some levity by making a joke about his situation. It comes out more honest than he’d intended, and he can just feel Keith’s judgemental stare at his morbid sense of humour. It amuses him, distracting him from the growing wound at his side. 

He also doesn’t want to worry Keith, ever the protective one, but his body betrays him and he groans in pain. The poison is spreading already, and Keith notices his pain immediately as usual. 

When he notices the creatures prowling around the Black Lion, he doesn’t hesitate asking Keith for help. He can’t handle this on his own right now and he’s learning to accept that he doesn’t have to do everything on his own and that he shouldn’t have to. 

He backs away slowly when the creatures approach, hoping to get out without a fight. His efforts prove useless as he ends up cornered. He looks around desperately for a place to hide and finds a small cave, too small for those creatures to enter. He decides to take his chances and ducks into the cave, barely slipping past the beasts. 

They do however end up covering the entrance with rocks just moments after he makes it inside, trapping him. He’s lying down on his back, just enough space to breathe and move around a little. It doesn’t matter though; it’s Keith that’s occupying his thoughts, having heard several worrying noises from his throughout the entire debacle.

Keith reassures him that ‘he’s fine’ and that there’s ‘nothing to worry about’, and he laughs inside because they really are terrible at lying to each other, at trying not to make the other worry.

Trapped in a cave with his only hope of rescue being miles away, Shiro finds himself significantly less concerned than he thought he would be. He knows Keith is coming for him, and that’s enough. People used to say back at the Garrison that it was amazing that he trusted Keith at all, given his track record. He’d reply that Keith never gave him any reason not to.

Hearing Keith say ‘Patience yields focus’ with all the seriousness in the world touches him deeply, knowing that Keith has internalized something Shiro has always seen as important. His voice is soft with an overwhelming fondness for Keith, with all his impenetrable walls and hard won trust. It makes him feel warm and soft and important, even if he’s currently trapped inside a cave and close to imminent death. But then Keith comes crashing through his heart with all the force of a hurricane.

_“If it weren’t for you, my life would have been a lot different.”_

Even as his mind races for something to say, his mouth opens without his permission and spills all his insecurities and fears. The only thing worse than dying himself is knowing that he may have dragged Keith into a situation that could very well lead to their deaths.

Shiro coughs, and his surprise at seeing flower petals, _very familiar_ flower petals scattered on the cave floor leaves him speechless. He doesn’t even register Keith’s voice.

Only the sound of Keith’s laboured breathing and several thumps brings him out of his dazed state. He calls out for Keith, momentarily forgetting about the fact that all evidence showed that he was in love with Keith again _(and that Keith still doesn’t love him back)._

The shifting of the rocks around him and the sound of digging alerts him to the presence of the creatures he had run from, and if he sounds a little panicked when he informs Keith, well he’s had a very eventful day.

Since Keith being so close to his location could only be good news, so the universe must feel compelled to balance it out by having those creatures reach him first. He’s dragged from his spot by the ankle and there’s a brief period of weightlessness as he flies through the air but his rough landing aggravates his wound even more. 

He stands up and fights because he doesn’t know how to do anything else but survive, even if he is outnumbered and injured. He dodges a blow and throws a punch at the beast, but the pain distracts him. Another beast rushes in to attack, headbutting him off the cliff, his groans of pain echoing around him. 

He lands at the bottom of the cliff, right on top of his wound. Stifling his screams of agony, he forces himself to get up. He runs as far as he can. If they want to eat him so badly, he’s not gonna make it easy for them. 

In the end, the beasts corner him, backing him into a wall. He dodges an attack at the last moment, but is quickly swept off his feet. His hand automatically goes to his wound as he falls, even though he lands on his left side. 

A mocking voice inside his mind whispers that Zarkon’s arena couldn’t kill him but he was going to die a slow death at the hands of creatures that only wanted him for food. Shiro wants to laugh; as if he would go down quietly. Hand still gripping his wound, he activates his arm one last time.

A creature leaps in for the kill, only to be forced away by the Black Lion’s paw crashing in front of him. They are taken care of, one after the other as he stares wide-eyed. The wind rushes through his hair from the force of the lion’s movements, only feeling awe and relief at the unexpected rescue. 

Sitting by the fire next to Keith, his mind is occupied with the day’s events. Their conversation is normal, the back-and-forth banter between them is something predictable and safe. Even Keith’s reaction to his morbid sense of humour is familiar, something he really needed if he’s being honest with himself.

He’s conscious of his own mortality now. His time as a gladiator and even their time as paladins have made him much more aware of it. He needs to find someone to replace him when he’s gone. It’s only practical and he has the foreboding feeling that it’s going to be needed sometime soon anyway.

The reason he chooses Keith has nothing to do with his own feelings and everything to do with the faith he has in Keith’s ability to lead. Keith could be ruthlessly pragmatic at times, but he had straightest moral compass Shiro had ever seen. He could never stand injustice, even if he himself was the victim more often than not. There’s no doubt in Shiro’s mind that Keith would make a great leader.

He remembers once there were rumors flying around the Garrison about Keith’s scores, how he had to be cheating to get those kind of results. He remembers Keith’s reaction, stony-faced and unwilling to say anything, and how he proved he wouldn’t need to cheat anyway. However in private, he confessed that people doubting his skills was one thing, but he was more upset that they would believe he would do something like that in the first place.

Keith’s denial is almost sweet in its own way and he can only smile. 

_I’m glad it was you_ , he thinks silently. _If my heart was anyone’s, I’m glad that it’s yours._

*****

 

After an urgent distress call from a nearby planet, Shiro returns injured, having deliberately drawn fire in an effort to allow the others to provide safe cover for the inhabitants of the planet. He only allows himself to be herded to one of the healing pods after giving his report. The others join the festivities after a battle well fought except Keith and Allura, who stay behind for some reason. He waves them off, happy to see them enjoy themselves, even as they bicker all the way. They all need some happiness right now.

While he waits, he starts pondering some things he’s been avoiding. Mainly, Keith and what to do about his situation. He only has so much time before it starts becoming detrimental to the team and kills him.

As he thinks about Keith, it leads him to other thoughts, like love. Before Keith, he’d never had much reason to think about it, but now he feels it invading his thoughts during lonely moments.

He notices the little things Keith does even more than he did before. His heart skips a beat when he sees Keith’s smile, and the overwhelming pride he feels when he sees Keith fly is a constant, not to mention the rush of heat that goes through his body when Keith pins him to the floor during their sparring sessions.

Shaken out of his thoughts, he sees Keith arguing quietly with Allura and apparently she concedes, because she leaves the room with no further arguments. He wonders vaguely what they were fighting about before the pain distracts him. 

When he looks up again, Keith approaches him cautiously. He informs Shiro where the others are, and that he volunteered to stay behind to stand guard over the castle and watch over Shiro as he heals.

He’s glad that Keith will be with him. He even says so himself, just to earn one of Keith’s special smiles again. 

He groans in pain, interrupting the conversation. The effects of his risky maneuver are catching up to him and Keith rushes to support him. The pain makes everything seem distant and consequences feel so far from reach.

While the pod activates, he touches Keith’s hair, finally satisfying his curiosity from their very first meeting. 

It’s softer than he expected, like rubbing his hand on silk.

His hand drops slightly and he touches Keith’s cheek gently with his right hand. What it would be like if he could feel with it like he could with his human arm? He presses it as much as he dares, only feeling a weak facsimile of sensation but he can just imagine the warmth that fairly radiates off of Keith. 

“It’s so easy to fall in love with you, you know?” is all he manages to say before everything fades to black.

 

As far as mornings go, he’s had worse but not by much. He gets out of the pod carefully, feeling better than he has in ages. He turns around, only to be met the sleeping figure of Keith, on a chair he must have dragged from somewhere in the castle. He’s grateful that Keith would do that because it saves him the time of looking for him, as he tends to check on Keith first in any situation. 

His heart clenches at the sight of Keith’s sleeping face. He’s not sure about the supposed innocence that only comes out when you’re sleeping, but it’s nice to see Keith’s face peaceful for once, free of the unavoidable worries that come with the situation they’re in.

He looks away for a few moments, trying to remember the last time he saw Keith’s face like that, and the answer is probably from a few months into their friendship. Back then though, the sight of Keith’s sleeping face didn’t send his heart into painful contortions, only fondness for his new friend and appreciation for the trust he was being given. When he looks back though, Keith’s eyes are open and staring unblinkingly at him.

He freezes, any warm and happy feelings replaced by sheer panic because of the knowledge in Keith’s eyes. 

_He knows._

He’s not really sure why he’s so anxious about the thought of Keith knowing. He knows Keith, he wouldn’t break off his friendship with Shiro for something like this and he’s pretty sure Keith knows him well enough to know that he would never try to take advantage of him. 

Still, the horror is obvious in his voice when he chokes out, “Oh god, you know, don’t you?” 

Keith’s eyes don’t get any less intense. “Why?”

There are hundreds of layers hidden in that demand but Shiro isn’t up to deciphering them. He goes for the simplest explanation, not wanting to ruin their relationship any more than he already has.

“Why didn’t I tell you?” he says rhetorically. “You’re my friend Keith, I care about you. I’m not going to pressure you into a situation where you’d have to do anything you didn’t want to.” Ruefully, he adds, “not that I believe I could make you do anything you don’t want to do anyway.”

“Ok- Fine, that’s fair. I’m still upset that you didn’t tell me but that’s fair. But why would you even love me in the first place?” 

He understands suddenly why he was so afraid of Keith finding out. There’s a certain vulnerability to being known, feeling laid bare as people look at you and knowing they can see you for all you are. 

But he braces himself for the impending conversation anyway. If there’s anyone who deserves to know, it’s Keith. Is it strange, he wonders, that he’s more scared of this conversation than he was about fighting as a gladiator in the arena for the first time? 

“Can we have this conversation somewhere private?” he asks in a last-ditch effort to gather more time to prepare himself. He also doesn’t want anyone walking in on them working out their issues. He hasn’t been very subtle about his feelings but he’s not signing up for more abject humiliation than he has to.

“Ok.” Keith replies simply. “Your room,” he specifies, because Keith wouldn’t be Keith if he didn’t know just what Shiro needs right now. His room is his space and Keith knows that just a little control under the circumstances would go a long way for him. He feels a burst of love for Keith in his heart, right before he starts coughing. The petals are stained red with his blood and there seems to be more of them coming out now. He sees Keith at the edge of his vision, reaching out to him looking worried and uncertain.

Shiro's body is taken over by the coughs and he has to hold back his groans of pain, not wanting to agitate his throat any more than he already has. Keith watches in fascinated horror, especially when a particularly violent cough results in a larger clump of flowers and blood landing right in his hands.

"Forget-me-nots," Shiro answers his look of horrified curiosity, purposely answering the wrong question. "They grow in bunches, which makes them a pain to get out."

“What the hell, Shiro?” He looks almost angry now. 

_Good_ , Shiro thinks. That might make this easier for him to hear. He’s quite familiar with the way Keith uses anger as a coping mechanism.

“Why are you coughing up flowers?!” Despite his anger, Keith’s touch is gentle when he places his hand on Shiro’s back as a support.

“Can I answer this in my room? I don’t really want the others catching us like this.”

“Fine,” Keith says. He stands up briskly and leans down, offering Shiro his hand.

He accepts Keith’s hand up, absently noting that he had kneeled on the floor sometime during his coughing fit, and squeezes it in thanks. What really surprises him is the fact that Keith doesn’t pull away once he’s fully upright again. They walk to his room still holding hands and he feels a curious almost hope that it might turn out better than he expected after all.

Once they reach his room, he shuts the door and locks it. He tells Keith to sit wherever he likes, and after taking a few deep breaths, decides to start from the beginning. Keith deserves no less than that.

“I’m guessing that you know by now that I’m in love with you.”

Keith’s face makes it clear how obvious it was, but he obliges nonetheless. “It wasn’t hard to see after you said that. Suddenly a lot of things made sense.”

“So the flowers, they’re basically a sign that I’m in love with you and that you don’t love me back.”

“What? That doesn’t even make sense. How does that work? You cough up flowers just because you’re in love and it’s not requited for some reason?” Keith says, disbelieving.

“My grandmother once told me a story about this. Long story short, the flowers grow when your feelings grow, and they only appear when it’s unrequited. Once your feelings are reciprocated, I guess they just fade away. I don’t know how it happens or even how it works really but I couldn’t find anyone else who knew about it. I tried looking for more credible sources but I found nothing except for some testimonies from people that got it too. Whatever it is, it’s rare and only happens to certain people I guess.” His explanation is long but he’s definitely not going to mention the dying part of the sickness. Keith would be even angrier that Shiro didn’t mention it to him earlier, and would probably feel pressured to do something about it.

“And it happened to you? When? And why didn’t you tell me? Don’t give me that bullshit about not wanting to pressure me or whatever, you’re literally coughing up flowers because of this shit. And it’s hurting you.” This time, Keith looks hurt.

“I told you, it’s because I didn’t want to pressure you into anything you didn’t already feel. I know that you care about me, you’d probably have tried to fake it somehow so they’d fade away and I wouldn’t be in pain anymore. I just didn’t want to force you to make that choice.”

Keith looks even more hurt, as if he knows Shiro isn’t telling the truth, the whole truth about how he feels. He doesn’t want to see pain like that in Keith’s eyes ever again.

“I didn’t want to be just another person in your life, asking for something you couldn’t give,” he blurts out. “You deserved better than that. You still do.”

Keith’s face settles a bit at that, but now he just seems sad. Sad for Shiro, like he was upset that Shiro had to experience that, that he had been hurt at all.

He forges on, knowing that trying to hide anything now would be futile.

“And I was scared,” he whispers, his voice almost sounding loud in the silent expanse of his room. “I didn’t even know I was in love with you when they appeared. To be hit with the fact that you didn’t feel the same way literally moments after I discovered I was in love with you hurt a lot.”

 _You could have hurt me_ , he doesn’t say, _and I would have let you._

Feeling like he’d bared his heart and offered Keith a knife to stab him with, he changes the subject smoothly. 

“To answer your earlier question, you remember how we met right, when Iverson introduced us? I wasn’t sure what to expect, being paired with someone they said was a natural talent and just needed to develop skill in working with other people. They told me that if we worked well together, it would be possible for us to be paired together on a permanent basis.”

“I never really understood why or how it happened,” Keith admits quietly. “Them assigning me to you anyway. I know they were probably trying to calm me down or teach me ‘people skills’ or something like that but-” He shrugs.

“Objectively, we were the best pilots the Garrison had to offer. Or at least we would have been. I guess they thought that I could help temper you and teach you how to work with someone else, while mentoring you could have helped me prove myself or something. Maybe it was worth making special arrangements for that to happen.”

Sneaking a peek at Keith’s face, he notices that Keith’s eyes are far away, probably remembering their first meeting.

“Anyway,” he continues, “meeting you was a real surprise. I couldn’t look at you too long, I was too- compromised.” 

“I remember that,” Keith interrupts. “I thought you didn’t like me or something.” Keith’s hurt face sends a pang to his heart and he mentally says goodbye to his dignity.

“I definitely liked you. I liked you a bit too much, you could say. I tried not to look too much so you wouldn’t catch me staring at you.” 

Keith’s disbelieving look makes him laugh. He sobers up though, continuing where he left off.

“I looked for you a lot back then. Sometimes I’d see you eating alone or studying for a class all by yourself and just wanted to join you. I never did because I was scared of being turned away. I knew you didn’t like me.”

“So what changed?”

“Our grades dropped because we weren’t working together well enough even after our truce, and then we started fighting instead. Honestly, it was a pretty terrible week.” He laughs. “But I wasn’t expecting to catch you out of the Garrison after curfew with your hoverbike, when I stayed back late to finish grading papers for Montgomery’s class. You were definitely breaking at least 3 rules!”

“I remember that too,” Keith says quietly. “I wasn’t expecting you to do what you did though.”

“I don’t think I could done have any differently.” 

_That day, Shiro remembers that Keith had been pale with fear, thinking the so-called golden boy would rat him out. Instead, Shiro asked a few questions, particularly curious how the desert could be an escape. Next thing he knew, Keith was inviting him along for the ride._

_Shiro definitely had not expected to be taken on an exhilarating joyride across the desert. Keith took dangerous risks with his driving and it was easy to see how it affected his flying inside the simulators._

_At some point, it became relaxing even with all the reckless stunts Keith pulled. His peace was short-lived however once it became clear that Keith was about to drive them off a cliff. He tried to protest calmly, citing that for all his complaints, he didn’t actually want to die._

_Keith only smirked, replying, “Just shut up and trust me.”_

_He closed his eyes, clinging to Keith even harder as the hoverbike accelerated. If they survived this, how would he ever explain this to the authorities? Oh no, officer. I’m so sorry, I’m just too weak to resist his eyes when he wants something from me._

_When the hoverbike plunged off the cliff, it felt like his stomach was left behind, along with his common sense for agreeing to this idea. But then, he heard laughter, loud and breathless, coming from Keith and he realised he’d do it over a thousand times just to hear him laugh like that again._

_Of course, they came out of it perfectly uninjured. Still, he groaned at Keith, “You’re gonna be the death of me someday.”_

_“You can count on it, Shirogane.”_

_They spent the rest of the night talking, about everything and nothing. When they had to rush for morning classes, nothing could wipe off the stupid grins on their faces._

He’s shaken from his reverie when Keith offers his own perspective of that night. “Before that night, I knew only two things about you, that you were frustratingly perfect and that you loved flying as much as I did. But you didn’t act like I expected you to. I just wanted to shut you up at first but then somewhere along the way I just wanted you to understand. And you did.”

“That was the night I _knew_ I wanted to be friends with you.”

“I think that was when I stopped seeing ‘Takashi Shirogane’, Golden Boy of the Garrison, ace pilot extraordinaire and started seeing _you._ ”

Shiro smiles. _How could I not be in love with you?_

“Being your friend is an honour I’ll never take for granted. You understood me, never feeling bothered when I wasn’t good enough at something but you believed in me anyway. I never wanted you to know about this,” he gestures vaguely at himself. His voice softens, “I never wanted to make you feel like you were being forced into anything.”

“You never did anything to me that I didn’t want, okay? Maybe I didn’t really trust you at first but then you proved that you were different. I trusted you back then.” At the look on Shiro’s face, he rebuts, “And right now! You’ve never given me any reason not to.”

“I’m glad you still trust me, Keith,” he exhales, “I don’t know what I would have done if my feelings ruined our friendship irreparably.” 

“I’d follow you to the ends of the universe and back, Shiro. No doubt about that, even now.” Shiro looks up then, his heart speeding up at the conviction in Keith’s voice. Keith’s expression makes him duck his head again; it’s just too earnest, too intense, too much for him to handle right now.

Suddenly he understands why some people relate love to feeling suffocated. He feels like he can't breathe, not when Keith is looking at him like _that._

_I would do so many things for you to look at me like that always. Look at me like that and love me back, and I will die happy._

“I can’t really say why I love you, all I know is that I do. They’re pretty damn resilient, these feelings. Even after they were removed, they just...grew back.”

A choked sound catches his attention and he looks at Keith again. “You had them removed?” Keith demands after finally catching his breath. He sounds oddly hurt by the possibility.

“No,” he says simply. “They were taken from me.” He sounds very detached, almost distant. “They did things to my body that I’ll never understand, on top of the fights. It was a miracle I even survived.”

Keith’s look of horror doesn’t make him feel any better. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” Keith offers, because even if he clearly doesn’t like hearing about it, he won’t let that stop him from helping Shiro. 

Shiro can’t resist the impulse to touch Keith, wanting to feel him somehow so he reaches out silently, grasping Keith’s hand and squeezing it in gratitude. He still can’t talk about it now but maybe one day, he will.

Keith takes his silence as a sign to change the subject. "What do they mean anyway? They’re forget-me-nots right? You said to me once that all flowers have meanings."

Cursing the day he told Keith that flowers had special meanings, back when he'd still had plans to confess, he answers, "this one's pretty simple, true to their name, they mean 'forget me not' and-".

"And?" Keith prompts.

"And true love." Shiro can feel his ears turning red, betraying his embarrassment. 

Keith, bless his knowledge of Shiro’s limits, doesn’t say anything in response.

They both stay silent for a while, processing the conversation. It’s almost peaceful when Shiro sees Keith shake off his pondering and he prepares himself for the worst.

“Shiro,” Keith begins and Shiro flinches, expecting the standard ‘it’s not you, it’s me’ speech that he’d been dreading from the beginning. “I’m sorry I don’t love you like that. Hell, I wouldn’t even know if I did, but if there was anyone I would want to be in love with, it would definitely be you.”

A protest builds up in his throat, but he’s silenced by the look Keith flashes at him.

“Let me explain something, okay? Losing you- it hurt. A lot. It was hard going back to being alone again. It pissed me off when they started saying it was your fault the Kerberos mission failed, but I didn’t do anything. Barely. Only because I thought you wouldn’t want me to waste my chance at the Garrison. It was pretty hard to care about things like classes and exams but I made it, even lasted a few months too.” He sounds pretty proud of that, but then he frowns and sighs angrily. 

“At least until they added a new simulation to the program. It was a simulation to ‘rescue the crew of the Kerberos mission’ and it felt like rubbing salt into a constantly open wound.” The pain in Keith’s voice upsets him but he doesn’t interrupt this time. Keith doesn’t seem to notice.

“I couldn’t take it,” he continues woodenly. “They just forced me in there, trying to get me to demonstrate like they usually do, and I was just sitting there in the pilot’s seat, having a panic attack. I just- couldn’t. Everything reminded me of you, how this was what you would have done, or there was where you’d land in your efficient way. I’m your partner, of course I’d know how you think. And I failed. I couldn’t even keep my crew alive, let alone land my ship. And that’s when it hit me. I couldn’t have saved you even if I tried. After that, I couldn’t find the will to go to class or training. There wasn’t much point anyway. They tried to get me to at first; I was their most talented pilot, especially with you gone, so they tried. It didn’t work and I was charged with insubordination and kicked out.”

Thinking of Keith hurting like this, it made him both angry and impossibly sad. There wasn’t anything he could do about it right now though so he did his best to just listen. Sometimes that was all you could do.

“I didn’t really have anywhere to go so I just- flew. That’s how I ended up in the shack. I thought about you a lot those months, wondering what you would have said about me being kicked out, hell, just missing our stupid conversations. Sometimes I’d take my bike out and just fly, trying to remember what being with you was like before I forgot. Finding you- finding you was like finding home again. Felt like gravity was finally working and like I wasn’t gonna fly out of my own skin at any moment.” 

Every word out of Keith’s mouth sends a spark to the already blazing flames of Shiro’s heart. He had never expected anything like this. 

“I may not love you, not the way you want at least, but I do still care about you. You’re important to me, you know. I figured you should hear that from me at least.” Keith gets up to leave then, looking relieved at finally letting Shiro know everything he’d been keeping to himself for over a year. 

Keith’s last words were a double whammy of pain and happiness, because at the very least, now they both know where they stand and he can go back to loving Keith in peace, knowing that Keith doesn’t mind. A small part of him is hurt, but he resolves to actively push it away. He’ll take what he can get from Keith and never ask for more. 

It’s not like love needs to be reciprocated to exist.

*****

 

They don’t really discuss anything after that, too busy with training and locating the Blade of Marmora. Sometimes Shiro catches Keith looking at him when Keith thinks he’s unaware but Shiro doesn’t approach. He needs time to think too.

Their meeting with the Blade of Marmora changes things. Keith did say that he cared about Shiro a lot, but it was entirely different to see how much he mattered to Keith.

Watching Keith being hurt by something made from his image, it leaves a bad taste in his mouth. Is that really how Keith sees him? Someone who would leave him, given half the chance for no good reason? And how Keith chases after an illusion of him so desperately, knowing he’s the one Keith wants to see, it breaks his heart.

He doesn’t know much about Keith’s childhood, but he does know enough to assume that they contributed to his issues with abandonment and how he interacted with people in general. It also forged him into a man with a core of steel, never wavering and never giving up.

Looking at Keith now, you wouldn't believe he'd been subjected to hours of fights and had faced a shocking revelation about his heritage. He was alert and paying the utmost attention to Allura and Kolivan's planning, not wanting to miss a single detail. 

At least until you looked at his eyes. His eyes just screamed exhaustion and dead inside hidden by layers of self-control. Shiro didn't blame the others for missing it, even if they should have known to let Keith get some rest first. They were all probably still a little thrown by the knowledge that Keith was Galra too. 

That's why there’s no sharpness to his voice when he interrupts their planning by announcing that Keith really should be getting some rest after his very long day. When they all flinch slightly regardless, he realises that he's been glaring the entire time. He probably should be getting some rest of his own.

Allura dismisses the meeting and walks away, stating that they should retire for now but they'd be meeting again in 12 vargas. He doesn't miss the way she pointedly doesn't look at Keith, and neither does Keith apparently because he slumps in response. Keith is hurt; not just by her resentment, but also by the others' casual treatment of his heritage. He doesn’t do anything for now, shoving it into a box in his mind for a later time.

The others leave the room, discussing something he can't hear while throwing Keith worried looks that he doesn't notice. Sure enough, once it’s just the two of them, everything about Keith just seems to drop.

He leads Keith away, letting Keith lean on him for support. Shiro wraps an arm around him as they hobble towards Keith's room together. 

When they arrive, he hesitates. He doesn’t want to leave Keith to deal with his demons alone. Not tonight. Keith already has nightmares, but they’re sure to be worse tonight. 

He helps Keith out of his armour, leaving it in a pile somewhere on the floor. He’s more concerned about Keith’s face, wan and unfocused like he’s having trouble staying in the present. 

Eyes clear for a moment, Keith tells him quietly, “You too.” He gestures to Shiro’s body and armour. 

He tries to protest but Keith cuts him off with a look, and he caves, undressing himself and leaving his armour on the floor beside Keith’s. 

Keith has been leaning against the wall to take some of his weight off his legs, but as soon as the last of Shiro’s armour comes off, he grabs Shiro’s hand and walks the remaining length to his bed. 

Releasing Shiro’s hand, he flops onto the bed without a care. Shiro only blinks quizzically at him, standing beside the bed in his under armour. Keith rolls over, motioning for Shiro to get in, the space beside him appealingly empty.

Shiro feels his mind go blank. There’s no way it means what he thinks it means, right? Keith couldn’t possibly want _that_ right? 

“Please, Shiro,” Keith begs. “I want to feel safe tonight, and that means I need _you._ ”

Shiro can feel any protests he may have had die in his throat. He sits on the bed, feeling uncomfortably aware of Keith’s warm body only inches away.

Keith is looking at him, eyes dimmed with fatigue but still the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen. Shiro would blush if he wasn’t as exhausted as he was at the moment.

“I’ll wake you up if you have any nightmares,” he replies. _I’ll keep you safe, you can trust me._

Keith mumbles his gratitude, interrupted by a series of yawns that have him stretching his whole body. Shiro can’t quite contain a yawn himself, even as he settles in to keep a lookout for anything suspicious. He sees Keith’s eyelids droop and his breathing even out, peace settling on his face like it was always meant to. Keith sleeps curled up in a fetal position, looking like he’s clinging for something that isn’t there. 

He watches Keith sleep for a while, counting his inhales and exhales like a way of meditating. A sense of calm takes over as he clears his mind, and the only things that exist are him, Keith and the little bubble they’re in. 

His position on the bed changes from leaning against the wall in a sitting position to lying down himself, inches away from Keith’s hands. He doesn’t notice as he progressively gets sleepier, having ignored any exhaustion he may have felt in favour of helping Keith. The last thought he has before he falls asleep is _I wish we could stay like this forever._

He wakes up sometime later, comfortably drowsy with a weight in his arms and Keith’s eyes just looking at him. In the dim light of the room, they almost seem to glow. He’s startled. When was the last time he allowed someone to observe him without waking up? 

Then again, it is Keith. _If Keith is here, he must be safe._

He finally registers their positions, Keith is on his side facing him while Shiro’s Galra arm is curled around his back. His hand is touching Shiro’s human hand gently, like he’s worthy of being cared for like this. Apparently, he’s pulled Keith closer to him in his sleep, telling him that his unconscious body will do what his rational mind will not. He doesn’t know if Keith can hear the rapid beat of his heart from where he’s lying, but his blush is probably bright enough to be seen in the dark. 

They’ve done this before, slept together in the same bed, back in the Garrison after long nights out in the desert, falling asleep still talking to each other, sometimes crashing in each other’s beds after exams. Not since Shiro came back though, feeling years older than when he left, and never anything like this.

Their walls are down now, both of them are too exhausted to hide anything anymore. Being here like this with Keith, even if it’s unfamiliar, feels warm and tender, almost like home.

“Sorry,” he murmurs to Keith. “I wasn’t planning on falling asleep.”

“It’s ok,” Keith replies. “I was going to ask you to stay anyway,” he admits. “So you saved me the trouble of persuading you.”

He feels soft and raw, made anew in the light of Keith’s eyes, reborn again like a phoenix rising from it’s ashes.

“Shiro.” Keith says his name so gently, like a whispered confession. “Takashi,” he corrects, because this is something private, something intimate that only they share.

“You know I never expected anyone like you when I joined the garrison. I was expecting to get my license, fly whatever ships they gave me and die alone, or flunk out, end up on the streets and prove everyone right about me. But then you- you just changed everything. You believed in me, challenged me to prove you right, and that made all the difference. I’ve told you before that you changed my life by offering me a chance.” 

Voice growing quieter like he’s sharing a secret, he continues, “I guess what I’m saying is that I’m glad that I took it.” 

“You never have to thank me for that, ok? I’ve never regretted giving you a chance, not for a single moment,” Shiro replies. “Not even after we got busted by Iverson for sneaking into the simulators again,” he adds ruefully, trying to defuse the tension.

Keith’s relieved face is broken by a smirk, something he thinks he shouldn’t be so attracted to. Damn his overwhelming attraction to Keith’s mouth.

“Are you sure?” Keith asks slyly. “I’ve never seen you so mortified, you looked like you wanted to sink into the ground and disappear if you could.”

“Not even then,” he says mock solemnly. “Even if you did horrible, horrible things to my reputation.”

They both end up laughing like children, pressed together like there’s nowhere else they’d rather be.

“I’m pretty sure every single one of them regretted assigning you to me after all the shit we got up to together. It was worth it though, remember their faces when we got that score during that synchronized flying assignment? I bet no one’s ever seen Montgomery’s jaw drop like that since.”

Shiro snickers. He and Keith had caused so much trouble, within the limits of the boundaries they were caged by, of course. The rules never stopped them, just forced them to get creative with what they could do.

Nostalgia aside, he’s glad that he’s here with Keith, that he gets to keep at least one of the promises he made, that he _survived._ His laughter fades, but he directs a fond smile at Keith anyway.

“I don’t think anyone expected what we’d become in the end.” Keith says, turning to look at the ceiling. “I think everyone just expected we’d crash and burn after our first flight together.”

“Yeah, but we made each other better in the end, didn’t we?” Shiro looks softly at him.

“Yeah, we did, Takashi." A comfortable silence fills the room. 

He doesn’t expect Keith to break it with one last confession. "I told you that you were like a brother to me during the trials, but it didn’t really fit. You’re my best friend, my family. I guess I thought ‘brother’ was the closest word for it. You said once that you didn’t know why you loved me, just that you did. I don’t know if I do love you like that, I wouldn’t really know.”

Keith pauses, and Shiro braces himself for the last emotional blow. It feels like he’s been sucker-punched, but it makes him happy instead of hurting. Keith is breaking down all the walls he’s built around his carefully guarded hope that one day Keith will love him back.

“I don’t really know what love is, but I do know that you’re my home, and that I’d follow you to the ends of the universe if you asked and that every time you leave, all I want is for you to _stay._ I don’t know how I would be in a relationship, but I’m willing to take a chance. What about you?”

“Yes, yes, yes!” He’s crying now, tears of joy at the fulfillment of a dream he had thought hopeless for so long. Keith is beaming at him, with that special smile he adores so much.

He pulls Keith’s head to his, their foreheads touching, and he’s laughing and crying because he never knew he could be this happy. Keith’s smile turns soft and _god, if he could spend forever looking at Keith’s smile he would die happy._

“Of course,” Shiro whispers. “I’ll always take a chance on you.”

Later, he’ll have to tell Keith about the real consequences of the flowers in his lungs, but for now, he’s content to sleep with Keith in his arms.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Feel free to come talk to me on twitter or tumblr about sheith anytime!


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